Resurrecting Love – how to reconnect to the light after a time of darkness
Human generosity is possible only because at the centre of the solar system a magnificent stellar generosity pours forth free energy day and night without stop and without complaint and without the slightest hesitation… each of us joins (a) cosmological lineage when we accept the Sun’s gift of energy and transform it into creative action that will enable the community to flourish.
Hope, promise, and possibility. These are some of the hidden gifts April always brings. Hidden, because April is historically an intense time of year. In the northern hemisphere, the budding promise of spring reveals green and tender shoots awakening in the natural world. It is a time where just like these early shoots, we too can feel vulnerable, tender and open.
Sensitive souls, cannot help but feel the low-level energetic hum of the soul of the world as humanity re-enacts the drama of ancient stories. Themes of birth, death, resurrection, and freedom live strongly in the collective consciousness of the human soul at this time. Christians at Easter remember the pilgrim Jesus Christ, both mourning his death and crucifixion, and celebrating his resurrection. Muslims commemorate the final night-time journey of the prophet Muhammad from Mecca to Jerusalem at Lailat Al Miraj, before his ascension and purification in heaven. Jews remember the freeing of the Israelite slaves from their Egyptian oppressors at Pesach (Passover).
The stories of the great world religions testify to the stories of our human struggles as we seek to fight the oppression, judgment, and condemnation that exists in our own lives. Seeking to renew our faith in life, by rekindling hope, these stories quite literally inhabit the ethers through the air we breathe, whether or not we follow the religions they are attached to.
Within the collective field of humanity’s consciousness, exists a profound opportunity to penetrate and gather the inner riches of these holiest of tales. Opportunities to rebirth and anoint those parts of our younger selves that have become lost, fragmented and forgotten as we embark on a great journey of self-discovery. There is much possibility to awaken your own path to freedom, resurrecting love of the deepest kind through your cellular whole.
Just as seeds planted so patiently during colder winter months, slowly begin to reveal themselves, so do those precious seeds planted in our human soul. In the life cycle of a small green plant, the ascent towards the light, through the often rocky and hardened earth, is not without its perils. What an incredible mirror for the human soul’s odyssey from darkness into the light.
As the glowing light of the inner and outer sun begins to pour through the cracks of your doubts and despair, the dormant seeds of your soul cannot help but begin to sprout at this time. At times, it can feel hard and difficult to navigate. The feeling of push and pull can often express itself either as conflict or withdrawal – the fight or flight urge woven into the biology of those abandoned internal spaces. But as bursting buds and early blooms speak to a reawakening in the natural world, so too is there an almost effortless awakening of your inner light. Can you feel it?
How to awaken your inner light?
There are so many ways in which you can awaken the light that is within you and more consciously work with the creative impetus available at this time. The expression of this evolutionary impulse is as vast as it is creative. For those of you looking for simple possibilities, meditation is a powerful place to begin. Consciousness follows both intention and attention. Even spending a few moments each day focusing on the gentle flow of the breath in and the breath out – being aware of the sensations under your nostrils will reap dividends.
As you begin to attune your thoughts to rest more fully in the source of life that flows through you, the greater the source of light that flows through you.
Below are a handful of the most powerful ways I’ve experienced, connecting to my inner light. I would, however, love to hear from you in the comments below about what are your most effective and potent ways to connect too.
1. Feeling is healing – take time to feel whatever is arising in you.
In times of despair and depression, when life feels as if wading through a heavy, sticky treacle, you may wonder, as I too find myself wondering, how on earth can I connect to this inner light? In these moments, clarity may feel far away as if you are living in a cloud of fog and confusion. But even in the asking of the question do new shoots of awareness begin to water the fertile soil of your inner world. Awareness is a sacred key to your awakening process.
Just this morning, as I gently placed my hands on my belly, I was contemplating the deep feeling grief and gratitude that is so strongly arising in me at this time. My beloved father died just seven weeks and three days ago. (Yes I’m still counting weeks and days).
At times in the last few weeks, I have honestly struggled to get out of bed or to even sleep properly, or engage with seemingly simple tasks like cooking or other household chores. As it is the holidays and no children to take to school, I am certainly grateful for the extra time this morning, to feel my emotions as they flowed through my body. An ache in my shoulder, a feeling of anxiety in the pit of my stomach. All places of pain and contraction, simply asking for greater attention, greater presence, greater love. Feeling is healing. No matter how painful or uncomfortable.
As I began to drop more deeply into the sensation in my belly, supported by the nurturing presence of my hands as my guide, I began to move through the anxiety, dropping deeper and deeper through the layers of sensation and feelings of grief and loss, until at last I reached what felt like an almost consuming abyss of deep, dark abandonment.
The pain, whilst intense, is not there to swallow you whole into the abyss, no matter how at times it might feel. Instead, the pain is like a signpost on a road – simply bringing you to a point of awareness; pointing you in the direction of where your attention needs to go.
What is it that is asking to be seen? What is it that has been thus hidden from view? What is beneath the pain? What does the pain want you to know? (I hope it goes without saying that if you are in intense physical pain, you must, of course, consult your doctor). Emotional pain, however, has a distinctly different quality to it, even though it can also certainly “feel” physical too.
Naturally, with my conscious mind, I know that my father did not abandon me. Remembering my Dad – he was without question the kindest man I have ever known.
The wound of abandonment has been there since earliest childhood. It is one which I have carried for decades, literally triggered awake by my father’s death. The invitation for me is to sit with all these feelings as they arise. Until there is nothing more left to sit with. As if the sitting and feeling dissolve layers and layers of it, transforming the terrain into something new. It is not easy work. Nor is it instant. But even in the naming of these parts comes feelings of relief.
Today, for the first time in a long while, I am inspired to write again. I feel fairly confident that my willingness to sit with my feelings has freed up creative space and potential in me. Leaning into this space, it is easier to access the silent whisperings of my heart – daring to feel whatever is authentically there. I am no longer afraid. Even though sometimes I can still feel the spinning, reeling sensation in my body that fear often brings.
Being with the feelings of discomfort arising in the body even for the shortest of time can reap great rewards. (Although a word to the wise, the rewards are just a juicy fringe benefit, not to be chased after for their own sake). Clearly, there is plenty more of this abandonment-type feeling to dive into, but this was an important step on the journey of my own healing. A simple and single step, but a firmly planted one.
Can you take the time you need to be present with whatever is arising for you at this time? Even five minutes before going to bed or before rising in the morning, simply noticing what is true for you at any given moment. Can you take that time for you? To be with what is? Without judgment, condemnation, shame or blame? Do not be deceived by its simplicity – for me, this continues to be a potent and powerful practice.
2. The power of prayer
As Hindu’s celebrate the advent of spring with the colourful festival of Holi, elaborate rituals are performed in front of a sacred fire, praying for the victory of good over evil, before a festival where vibrant, coloured powders are thrown everywhere and up into the air. The simple act of prayer calling forth a whole stream of magic and possibility from life’s hidden mysteries. Prayer is another one of the many ways in which you can nurture the fertile soil of your heart’s deepest longings.
What is it that wants to be expressed through you at this time, as the gift and blessing of your own life? What once lay beneath the surface of your awareness, may now come into view. As you begin to explore what was before hidden, you may like to ask yourself – what are the optimal conditions you need now, in order to nurture the seeds of your soul? What steps can you purposefully commit to at this moment, as you tend to your inner garden? What colours of your soul want to paint themselves on the blank canvas of your life?
It is a useful exercise to literally write these questions at the top of a piece of paper and to simply write your answers without pause or censor. You will be amazed at what comes through.
3. Walk in Nature – receive wisdom from the natural world.
Sun-seeking butterflies and beautiful birdsong fill the air; glorious light fills the days with hope again. Why not try taking a walk outside and allow your body, mind, and soul to be replenished with the bounty the Earth has to offer you? I have just returned from a walk through the woods – and feel as if my internal cobwebs have been dusted away.
In Japan, the practice of “forest bathing,” is scientifically proven to lower your heart rate and improve your overall health. Whilst you may or may not be experiencing the gut-wrenching pain of heartbreak or the agonising grief of loss, you would be hard-pressed to meet another human soul who has not yet experienced feelings of abandonment, betrayal, and disappointment at some point in his or her life. These are all perfectly natural human states, but as you allow yourself to become more rooted in the source of light that flows through all of life, these states do not have to be an end-point, but a springboard into living a more embodied, joyful and connected existence.
Spending time in Nature allows the beauty of the natural world to reflect back to you, the beauty you truly are.
The natural world has its own wisdom that will speak directly to your body as you absorb its gifts almost as if by osmosis.
4. Experience Community
Seek the company of friends and family. It is time to gather with those with whom you feel connected. It is so important to allow yourself to experience and feel supported – because the truth is that all of life supports you. For those of you who might feel isolated, perhaps it is time to take that daring step and invite in new friends and acquaintances. There are many wonderful ways in which you can deepen in your felt experience of connection, intimacy, and community.
When you share your individual gifts and struggles by taking time to connect with others, all manner of possibilities and opportunities start to arise. Why not consider joining a local group or starting one of your own? Regular meetings with others offer much inner nourishment for the unfolding pathway of your dreams.
Now more than ever the world needs your conscious dreaming. If winter was a time in which you could garner your soul forces, spring is a time of promise and celebration. But we must each choose to consciously rise from the slumber of our past habits and behaviours. Nature is resurrecting herself. The soul of the world is offering you a moment of rejoicing and celebration – what are the unique gifts that you intend to share with the world?
Please do consider sharing in the comments below – let this be the fertile soil where we can water each others’ soul seeds with our deepest love and attention. Let us be cheerleaders for each others’ most daring dreams and visions. Together we might just love the world whole.
All my love, Priya xoxox
PS As part of my own longing to experience greater intimacy, connection, and community in my life, from April onwards, I am hosting a series of monthly evenings. The Soul Circle Café – is a heart-centred gathering, offered on a donation basis. It is an opportunity for us all to be witnessed and seen and heard and felt wherever we are in our personal journeys. For more info and dates, please click here. The next Soul Circle Café will take place on Thursday 19th April.